I walked into my mom’s home for my nephew’s birthday party with tears streaming down my face. Have you ever hit a wall emotionally, spiritually and mentally? It never happens at a convenient time, but I’m thankful for my hubby, mom and sister who were there to give me a hug when I needed it most.
When did I realize something was wrong? I was making several mistakes, forgetting details and moody.
My corporate leadership team asked me to fix a case study problem that is causing our firm a tremendous amount of pain. Last week I dialed into a team call where we all share progress and challenges on our projects. It was my turn and I was prepared to give a decent update. I shared a few challenges, but ended on a high note sharing the progress made to date. I thought all was well until my team leader called me afterward concerned. Apparently, every time I meant to say the words “case study”, I said the word “resume”. That morning I spent about two hours working on a different project where I’m updating our sales team’s resumes. I reassured my team lead that I had everything under control (which I did) and that I had just mixed up my words due to a lack of sleep.
When I got off the line I was so disappointed in myself, because I purpose to be an excellent employee. The company I work for has been so good to me, especially lately by providing me with the flexibility to work from home. I take my career very seriously and don’t take it lightly that I screwed up.
The next few days I made a few more mistakes, like showing up to a birthday party two hours early! I don’t do things like that, because I’m very organized. When I arrived to my nephew’s birthday party and realized it hadn’t started yet I had a break down. Why? Because I rushed my family there on a Saturday which is one of our only days of rest. That day I realized that something needed to change.
One evening after Lucie had gone to bed and Ryan was at a men’s meeting I made a cup of tea and some toast. Put on comfy pajamas and nestled under the covers with a notebook. I began to ask myself questions. What’s wrong with me? Why am I moody? Why am I forgetting things? Why am I missing so many details?
I finally got to the root of it, it’s been over 30 days since I’ve slept through the night. Since Lucie’s started teething she formed a habit of waking me up 2 – 3 times a night to nurse. I felt like a zombie, up and down, up and down. So Ryan and I talked about it the next morning and decided that this could not continue. Lucie’s doctor told us several months ago that she doesn’t need night feedings. We’ve tried everything to get her to sleep through the night. So we came up with a plan. Ry stepped up and offered to manage her in the evening until she figures out that the dairy farm is closed until morning. Last night was the first night and boy was it hard to hear her cry. I was so impressed with Ry when Lucie woke up at 11pm, he went in to Lucie’s room about every 15-20 minutes to comfort her until she fell back to sleep. He was so loving and patient with her, as she cried for an entire hour. She ended up sleeping until 6am, so we all got decent sleep. Thank you Jesus!
I also realized that it usually takes me 30 – 60 minutes to fall asleep at night. My day is so fast paced and detailed that when my head finally hits the pillow I feel like I’m still going at full speed. Ry suggested I come up with my own bedtime routine, a batch of things that I can do to help me unwind. And it’s actually been working! Here are a few…
Yoga – a few poses before bed
Scents – a few drops of lavender oil on my pillow
Read – less TV and more reading, Ry and I enjoy sharing what we’re learning with each other
Shut down – phone and computer on the charger!
Stretch – especially since my shoulders tend to be tense by the end of the day
Pamper time – I purchased a beautiful set of natural products from my step-mom, so some nights I apply a face mask or facial serum
Happy thoughts – as I lay my head down I purpose to think happy thoughts…honeymoon, favorite dates, precious moments
Don’t get stuck in a rut…
If you’re unhappy, depressed or worn out, instead of continuing the grind – STOP! Schedule at least an hour for you to visit a relaxing place, grab a cup of java and ask yourself questions like the ones I asked myself above. Journal your thoughts, frustrations, passions, and desires. Try to examine the main areas of your life including spiritual, family, work/home, health and financial. Talk to God about it all and remember He’s a BIG God who loves you and cares about the details of your life. Then share what you discovered with a loved one and come up with a plan to make some changes. Ry and I do this on a regular basis to ensure we don’t get stuck in a rut. When Lucie was fighting her bedtime we came up with a new routine, which Lucie likes and now falls asleep every night on her own. We finally figured out she’s distracted by my milk, so every night I put on her pajamas, nurse her and daddy takes over. Ry reads her a story, tucks her in, prays for her and rubs her belly. She gone!